OK, this kid is in paradise but I feel like I’m turning into a kangaroo.
I’ve been baby wearing for the past few days and for the most part it’s been pretty good. I even ‘wore’ my baby to a wedding on the weekend, mind you he cried from about 7.30pm onwards, but that may have been the music.
As Attachment Parenting (AP) requires, I’ve ditched the pram in favour of the sling and Luca seems to appreciate it. Finally I’m getting smiles instead of screams, and as an added bonus I’m growing muscles on my muscle’s muscles. But after only a few days of this I’m not sure where I end and he begins. Maybe that’s the point?
One of the eight principles of AP is ‘nurturing touch‘. Babies should have contact with the primary caregiver – preferably one with boobs – as often as possible, if not all the bloody time. According to AP babies are ‘hardwired’ with a need for physical touch and a baby’s cry is a technique to keep the mother close. This is a vastly different interpretation compared to that put forward by the previous method.
Although the closeness is nice, I have noticed a definite downside. When I leave Luca with my mum (which I’m probably not supposed to do, although she does have boobs) he is more inclined to cry and less likely to go to sleep. Whereas before she barely had to look at him with her ‘You’re no match for me, I have five children and thirteen grandchildren’ eyes and he’d be asleep on the spot.
But there is a plus side to all this baby wearing. Sometime during my pregnancy I remember watching a TV series about different styles of parenting, one of which was very similar to Attachment Parenting. The proponents of this method claimed that by constantly keeping your baby on you, the baby would inadvertently learn how to do things simply by observing you. I’m hoping this is true because if so, Luca has just learnt how to make a mean Rogan Josh.
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September 29, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Lynn
Your post popped up in my reader from the attachment parenting tag. Can your mom try the sling? Dr. Sears mentions in his books that he would sometimes right a “prescription” for a mother to give to a daycare provider saying that the baby had to be worn in a sling, so that they’ll take it seriously. I know what you mean, though… the whole AP thing (including breastfeeding) does put a huge load on the mother right away. I found it much harder to share the “burden” (and joy) in the early months. Even my husband couldn’t watch my son for all that long in those early days. (I haven’t read through your older posts yet; I’m about to… love the idea for your blog. I’m planning to feature Elizabeth Pantley, author of the No Cry Sleep Solution, on my blog in the next few weeks, along with a brief author interview and give-away).
Lynn, Chronicle of an Infant Bibliophile
http://infantbibliophile.blogspot.com
October 15, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Jen Smith
Hi Lyn
Thanks for your comment and sorry for the delay, it went to my spam queue.
I have been using a sling for Luca and on the whole he loves it. I find that its great for when I’m out and about and also for when he is grumpy and I absolutely have to get something done.
My concern with using the sling all the time and also with AP’s focus on the mother is that Luca will not develop a sense of independance. As nice as it is to have him need me, I don’t want him to be a needy child. And that’s what I think AP may produce.
January 29, 2010 at 2:38 pm
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