Some not so unbiased advice

When you are pregnant every man and his dog wants to give you some precious nugget of advice. When you have a newborn baby that number doubles. And when you have a non-sleeping baby that number can be multiplied into oblivion and back again. And let me tell you, almost none of it is useful.

Are you a kind and caring friend, family member, workmate, acquaintance or total stranger on the street about to give the parent of a non-sleeping baby your two cents? Let me give you some advice. Don’t! You don’t know what you are taking about, you can’t know what you are talking about and the person you are about to bestow with your obviously insightful words of wisdom probably hasn’t slept in months and may well punch you in the face. And so they should.

Unless of course you have had a non-sleeping child yourself and somehow managed to make them sleep. In which case we want to know all your tricks, all your insights, all your middle of the night (eyes barely open baby screaming for the third time this hour brain not functioning considering walking out of the house in pajamas and never coming back) secret manoeuvres.

This information is useful, or at least gives us hope. And hope is the only thing keeping us from running screaming from the house in the middle of the night. That and the complex web of locks and latches that is just too difficult for our fried brains to contemplate at three in the morning.

Useful information and hope was something I was expecting (not unreasonably, I think) when I spoke to my long time GP about Luca’s sleep issues. Instead what I got was a slightly condescending smile, a recommendation to try control crying (which I explained I had already tried and had not found useful) and an exclamation ‘You’re not doing anything stupid like letting him sleep in your room, are you?’

Now call me Pinky McKay (a whole other story), but I would’ve expected GP’s today to be a little more open-minded and unbiased. And this one’s a woman.

What if I was co-sleeping with Luca? God forbid if I was bed sharing. Probably the fact that I occasionally practice a little baby wearing would’ve been enough to have her send me home with the latest copy of Save Our Sleep.

Now my search for a sleep theory has resulted in a new search. The search for a new GP. Preferably one with a little insight and understanding.

Sayonara Dr Wheeler. Let’s hope all your children learnt quickly.